An inborn outcast
How come there is a natural tendency to assume that you will always remain friends with the ones you grew up with. There does not have to be some special thing that made you turn into childhood friends. Aspects such as timing, Geographic’s and suitability, are the most prominent factors when establishing friends when you are in your premium pre-school years. Aspects such as common interests, ways of thinking and personal ideals are not considered. These more important friend aspects are put as things to be established by learning and practice through the course of the future friendship. You could view it as sort of an arrangement put forward by parents and the nurturing establishment. A thing, that all children should experience and explore, the deep sea of eternal childhood friendship.
My best friend and me, back home in Sweden, were inseparable. We lived next door to each other in a society of 50 people. Meaning that every moment where we did not eat or sleep, we spent with each other. To me, he was the best friend one could have, and I was heavily dependent on him. After we began school our friendship only grew as we then encountered people who, we felt, were assholes. After primary school we remained best of friends, despite that we went to different secondary schools.
Then, something major me an evening in March 2004. It was called UWC and would change my life quite significantly. After I went we did not speak for over three months. Though this was not something unexpected since neither him nor me is especially big on the ways of communicating per distance. But, when I got home, everything was as normal. Maybe we did not have that much common experiences anymore, but we soon found the routine and began chatting away like a couple of grannies on Prozac. However, it was one thing that I could not help but noticing. I felt five years older than him. Not only him, but all of my dear childhood friends. When I started talking about something that really caught my interest, they all looked at me as if I was talking in Chinese. We had lost our common interest in politics and society. I was talking about the wonders of globalization and they discussed the graphics in the new Xbox console. I did not now if it was me who was acting pretentious or if they just did not care about anything else than getting the new 007 on Playstation.
I did not think about it much more since I left once again for school. During the summer I spent so much time traveling in the middle east that I did not actually meet with them extensively, and when I did we usually just ended up drinking and playing poker.
The sad reality struck me just a couple of days ago. About a year and a half after I began studying at RCN. I have outgrown my friends, or they have outgrown me. In either case our interests and aspirations in life has separated completely. For this New Year I wanted to do something fun and exciting. All of them decided that they should sit on their separate sofas and enjoy New Years with their parents or girlfriends. Maybe crash a party somewhere to get drinks and enjoy the beginning of the New Year in a random company. Since I did not feel like neither sitting in someone else’s parents sofa drinking cheap bubbling wine nor crashing a party with people completely unfamiliar to me I decided to go down to Copenhagen and celebrate my New Year. Obviously we do not want the same things out of life anymore. I feel a need to make the best out of every second we possibly have to have fun. Maybe they think that what they are doing is the ultimate fun, and it possible is for them. But, unfortunately, not for me. So I have turned into the outcast in my own city. Knowing no one, and the ones I know, do not share my interests anymore. We still enjoy evenings of poker and talking. But I do not see us being very close friends on 10 years anymore. I have met new ones of who I think will remain my friends our entire lives. But the difference is, that I met theses new friends considering aspects of social dynamics and not practical arrangements. I love my childhood friends. But, perhaps, it is better to sometimes leave things in the past. How sad it might be.
The charity twist.
What do one do when a agency of which are providing eduaction for the less fortunate, which happens to be solitarily supported by charity, accidently sends you the wrong SWIFT-BIC number which results in you sending a couple of hundred euro to the wrong account. Can you ask the charity to accept that it was their fault and make them pay? No, since it is a charity they do not have enough money to pay, that's why you stepped in, in the first place. Can you contact the bank and ask them to refund, since it was not your mistake. No, they do not take responsibility.
So the only thing you can do is to take the true BIC number and sorry send another couple of hundred euros, this time to the right account.
Well, what can I say, life sucks sometimes. But atleast you made a child happy somewhere, and an owner of an account somewhere in Germany probably smiling.
Simply bend over and accept it!
The circular paradox
In Sweden we have upcoming elections for parliament next fall. This is the most important election in Swedish politics since we are a constitutional or representational monarchy, meaning that we do not elect a president. So whatever parties/y gains most votes in the upcoming election get to form cabinet and elect a prime minister, the highest political post available in Sweden. So naturally when this election is approaching every party tries its outmost to attract voters. However, since we have so many different parties in parliament and thus many parties that share votes in the elections, we seldom see a majority in the results. So we often have so called coalition cabinets. So these days it is more a struggle between the different party blocks than the individual parties. We have the right and center block and then the left socialist party block. All together seven different parties that have a realistic chance of getting into parliament with a substantial amount of suffrage power at their disposal.
Anyways, enough description of our voting and governance system, what I wanted to write about is the naïve and juvenile view many few and first time voters have concerning politics today. You see people who are about to vote for the first time talking about politics. These of which I shall write about now, all listen to leftist ’70’s music and wear Palestine scarves, if you ask them about the whereabouts of Palestine they answer that it is somewhere close to Israel. My point is that these people are not really concerned but instead concerned for sake of appearing concerned. However, these people sat around a café table in downtown Stockholm and discussed politics. I accidentally overheard their conversation and had to react. Something, which I got very clear and fast was that, they were definitely going to vote for the leftist block, since the other side only wanted to take from the poor and give to the rich. Their argument was that since Sweden is in such a downturn concerning our budget it would be insane to put a right side liberal cabinet in place. It would only ruin our economy more and more. So instead we would for the 20th year in a row (excluding '91-'94 with Carl Bildt) definitely vote for the left social block and this would repair the economy.
Ok, the first flaw in their argument was to assume that Sweden was in a downturn. Something that many young and old Swedes have a tendency to do these days. Mainly due to international media constantly proclaiming the world recession. And as well because regional budget cuts have become quite common these days. Nevertheless, Sweden is not in a downward economic spiral. Our economic growth is bigger today than it has ever been since the ‘70s. The consumption factor has risen so much that we are basically consuming more than we have ever done in Sweden. Swedes are getting richer by the day. A simple example is that the selling’s of luxury cars has doubled since the previous three years. Ferrari Sweden has sold 106 new cars this year, comparable to 57 cars last year. So Sweden is definitely not experiencing an economic downturn. However, this mistake is not really these young voters fault to make, since it is hard to notice the economic explosion if you are not carefully studying it. Maybe they should have noticed that more and more people have new cars and that the sales of flat screen TV’s are exploding. Anyways, it is excusable that they have not noticed this, and that they are following the arguments of the majority. But, this is not something that they should base their vote on. If they do not know all the facts, how can they then determine whom to vote for?
Another argument that they used when trying to convince me to vote for the left social block was that the unemployment rate is going up and we need to take care of those without work. Sure, do not take me wrong. I am definitely in favor of unemployment benefits and other forms of benefits and subsidies. I feel that as a welfare state we need to take care of people in need. However, if Sweden is facing an increase in unemployment, which is true since we experience more international investment and therefore losing jobs in Sweden, there is not a good choice to put the social government to counter this. They have been trying to deal with unemployment for as long as they have been in power. Through increasing unemployment benefits and punishing companies that move abroad. Leading only to a greater amount of people unemployed, even if the ones already unemployed feel a moment better. You cannot counter unemployment by raising the benefits. This will only lead to a higher prosperity not to work. And by punishing companies who have to let workers go, you automatically scare international firms, which want to put production in Sweden, off. More and more domestic firms are moving their production abroad because the costs are lower and the unions are weaker. We need to attract companies and make it more beneficial to work, than being unemployed, to really counter unemployment. Anyone with any knowledge in basic Macroeconomics would agree with me on this. The problem is though, that people who argue the opposite, that we need a socialist government to redistribute income, do not often study economics. However, they feel to have enough knowledge in the subject to risk another four years of increasing unemployment. If we let another socialist government take power for the next four years, we will turn out like Norway. A country that is totally bluntly run on capital money stock, and have an amazing GDP per capita; but still suffers relative poverty down on a grass root level. Or were people cannot survive without government backing, like Denmark today.
For example, last year when our country still suffered some budget cuts on a national level, our dear socialist government decided to sell out yet another energy producing company. You could think that this is a right-wing thing to do. But there was public opinion against high-energy prices and privatizing the energy production would lead to lower prices. However, if the government sees more budget cuts approaching, why do they then sell out one of the most profit generating state company’s there is? Just to satisfy instant public opinion, and to something that even is against their presumed ideology.
We are facing a party politics that are very close to the one in USA. Where politics is about surviving the next four years and not to create a better state. This is why I feel we need a right wing cabinet next year, so to create some contrast in Swedish politics. Make people realize that being an idealistic socialist state does not necessarily mean that we are a good and wellbeing society. We need to realize that right and liberal politics does not exclude welfare and benefits. But it puts economic thinking higher on the agenda, something that the left-block lacks today. First we need to think about the social impact and then secondly the economic one. Without that kind of thinking, Sweden will soon find itself in two consecutive quarters with negative economic growth, more specific economic recession; something that will strike everybody in a negative way.
So I want to tell everybody with Palestine scarves, to first unfold an Atlas and find some information about your point of view and respect the people involved, more than wearing the scarf like an alternative fashion accessory, and after that read a book about politics and economics and get some information, more than the one you get on radio and reality shows. Voting should not be taken lightly. Because the economic prosperity we see now, can soon be gone. So lets start preparing for the future.
Vote for what you believe in, but make sure you do it for the right reason!
What happened to my music?
Last night I randomly went down in the pool room, which subsequently functions as a music room, and approached the piano. I happened to find some note papers lying around on the stand. I looked at them and saw, to my astonishment, that it was one of the piano jazz tunes which I wrote some years ago. I had almost forgot that they existed. So I picked them up and started playing on the old '73 brescht electric organ which my dad got for free from an old hippie friend. It sounded quite good and I soon got into the beat. However, it was something that troubled me deeply. It did not feel like I was playing my own piece. I have not written music for atleast two years and the last time I composed something for piano must have been ages ago. Have I totally lost my ability to create music? I am not saying it is ingenious pieces, but it was mine and I had created it. When you play something you have composed each note represents a moment and a memory in time. It is quite a remarkable thing. It is something I very much miss, the feeling after completing a piece and for the first time playing it in en-arte.
Since I currently board at the Red Cross Nordic UWC in Norway I am bound to act out on my music interest there as well. So it often happens that I am alone in my room and playing on my guitars when someone walks in, or sitting down in the hoegh playing the piano. Almost always when that happens people, who catches me in the act, says that I should perform with a band or atleast do something on stage. They are asking why I am always sitting by myself and never play with someone else. My excuse is always that I would if I had the time, but it is always so much with the SC and such. This is complete bullocks. It is a white lie created by me so to protect myself from the truth. A truth not so horrifying, but new to me.
I am shit ass scared of getting onto that stage in the hoegh and perfom my own works. I am afraid that it will blow, that people wont clap or sit there whispering among themselves. Or that something will happen in the technology department and I will be sitting left out on stage just waiting for the sound to come again. I have never been afraid of stages before, and today when I enter a stage to talk, there is no problem. But just the thought of performing my own works at RCNUWC can make me sweat. I do not know why, because at the college I have friends who are the most sympathic, comfortable and intelligent people you can imagine. But, that is also what scares me. What shall they think if I go up there and perform something mediocre? I live today on a reputation that I can play music. I just never had to prove it...
However, last nights event made me realize that I should just be proud of what I have done. And get up there on stage and perform my own stuff. No matter if it sucks, it would still be mine. I love music in all its form. I love to listen to it, I love to play it, I love to record it, to mix it, to produce. I love music that is performed without consideration of consequences. I love music as a mean of getting a political message across, I love music as purentertainmentnt. I simply love music, and I should not let anything stand in the way of me creating or playing it. It is my life...
Nevertheless, saying it is one thing. Lets hope that this spring I will find the time between the social and academic life and climb up on that stage, maybe playing "the white keys" on the piano and jazz trumpet. Why, Because I wrote it damnit. And if it should be performed by anyone, it should be me... Atleast the first time...
The first step...
I have no clue why I created this blog. Maybe because everybody else is doing it and I am a darn conformist and do not wish to be left out, missing all the excitement. Maybe because I have such a deep need of writing something for someone, of which I feel I am incapable of doing up front. Or maybe just because of the simplest reason, that I like people to find out what the heck I am doing, this given that people actually will be reading this. However, the reason why I decided to start my own blog, is very personal. I needed to get things out of my head. There is a lot of things going on in my life currently, and I feel a need to express it in writing. Maybe it would have been wiser to pick up a conventional pen and start my own diary, not to publish, literally, for the world to read. But, it is a way of pushing myself to write. Another important reason for me to start up this blog, is that I am enrolled at a college where, unfortunately, after two years everybody will seperate and, literally again, go all over the world. So, probably I will not meet 75% of my dear friends ever again. So the least I can do is to tell them what I am up to, expecting exactly the same in return. Because friendships is a very dear and blessed occurence. Something I have learnt the hard way. Something that probably deserves its own entry.
Anyways, the reasons for me writing is not really that interesting, the interesting stuff might pop up later in the actual blog, Hopefully.
So even if you are not reading and just accidently poped by, My name is Daniel Ahlsén and this is a record of my current, past and future life. Consequently my BLOG. Enjoy...
